To me, the longest words ever are “yet”, “soon”, “someday”, “shortly”, “eventually”, “in a moment”. My personal favorite: “anon.” They give the utterer the license to be vague and inconclusive. The span between saying such words and the fruition of whatever it is that’s coming? It can be as short as ten seconds or as long as, well, eternity.
Anyone who hears those words can find either assurance or frustration in the vagueness. To me, what they’re saying is: “Wait a while, I know or don’t know until when, but wait a while.”
“How long?”
“Trust me. It’s coming.”
That’s the struggle.
Waiting is brutal. Especially when it seems I’ve got nothing to cling to except a promising word. A single, vague, inconclusive word.
Sure, there are things to be taken care of while I wait. To take my mind off of the monotony. To revel in the process. But there are days when I get a hint, a wisp, of what a particular ending to a particular situation looks like, and once again I ask the question: “When?”
I’ve asked God for the big things. I’ve asked God for the little things. He’s told me they’re coming. I’ve asked Him when, and I always get this: “Anon.”
Nah, I’m just being fancy. I really something along the lines of: “soon”.
There are times when I ask: “Is it now? Is it now? Is this it?”
And I get: “Not yet. Soon.”
And with that, I’m being asked to, once again, cling.